Nannies and Cell Phones
We don’t know of any parent who wouldn’t want the nanny to have a cell phone (in case of emergencies and for checking in during the day). Emergencies are one thing, but a recent article on SFGate.com talks about how several nannies use their cell phones to make personal calls while on the job. It’s got parents and caregivers in San Francisco and beyond quite vocal on their feelings about nannies using cell phones, so let’s take a look at what each side is saying.
Against Cell Phones
Said one SF resident:
“I walk by the park nearly every day with my dogs and see these babysitters ignoring the children while they talk on their cell phones. It’s really sad and dreadful that no one is playing with or talking to these children. I saw a young boy last fall in a facing-forward stroller, with his ‘minder’ pushing from behind and talking on the cell phone. The kid literally had his fingers in his ears keeping out the conversation. Lord knows what the effect will be when the future unfolds and we have hundreds and thousands of children in their earliest developmental stages being watched by minders who don’t communicate with them. Neglect, loneliness, confusion, and frustration come to mind.”
The owner of a nanny referral agency:
“We require that the family provide the caregiver with a ‘nanny phone’ that she can use to communicate with the parents. The caregiver’s personal phone needs to be turned off or left in the car as soon as she arrives at the child’s house.”
The owner of another nanny referral agency:
“We advise caregivers to not use their cell phones for personal reasons even if they’re only texting. When this comes up, we talk to the caregiver to resolve the issue.”
Defending Cell Phones
San Francisco mom Bao-Tran Truong:
“Our nanny had major family life issues. Her husband was going to be deported and she was trying to get her first child to immigrate to the U.S. from El Salvador, so I understood she did a lot of her ‘business’ when the kids were napping. She once made a call to El Salvador on our home phone that cost more than $600 but she paid it all back. I felt bad for her ‘unique’ situation and didn’t press her on how she was spending her time with the kids. Also, the kids seemed to be happy and I understood that she was trying to work while balancing her private life as we all do when we are at work. We check our personal email, make a personal call here and there.”
San Francisco mom Veronique Lauriault:
“I speak on the cell phone myself when my daughter is around. In fact because of work today, I was on the phone every hour. Sometimes you just have to do it!”
Co-director of a Latina caregiver training program:
“Many families don’t realize that they’re failing to give their children’s caregivers basic labor rights such as rest breaks and lunch breaks. These workers often don’t have time in their workspace to take care of their own families. Maybe their child is sick and they need to get her to the doctor or call a family member to pick her up at school. We train women to be professional and sing to and talk to the children but it’s reasonable that they might have to make a call once in awhile.”
Nanny Eve Fisher:
She sees nannies on their phones at the park all the time — but she thinks parents are just as guilty. “I think parents sometimes hold caregivers to a standard they rarely adhere to themselves.”
What do YOU think?
Should cell phones only be used in emergency situations, or do you think it’s okay for caregivers to speak on the phone with family and friends while watching children?
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May 19th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
I think there is a time and place for personal calls while babysitting.
I don’t condone sitting around on the phone for a half hour while the kids are up to who knows what. I do think it is okay for a caregiver to make a quick call here or there, always at appropriate times.
I’ve often been in the situation where I have plans after sitting that need to be confirmed, or I find out that the parents will be running late, so I’ll let my family know. If you’re ignoring the kids to be on the phone, there’s a problem. I only ever make calls where I know the recipient of the call wouldn’t see a problem if I have to interrupt to deal with a kid. I certainly wouldn’t be making professional calls during my babysitting time. I don’t know that I could work for a family that would not allow this.
The bottom line: I think you have to trust your sitter enough to know that she will only use her phone reasonably while watching your kids.
May 19th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
I think that people need to stop using a vague generalization to classify everyone, there are some irresponsible caregivers who have no right to care for others, i.e. the nanny or mother who let the child fall on it’s face in the stroller while talking on the phone.
To solve your problems, be more selective while searching for someone to care for your children, be thorough. These strangers will be looking after your children, make sure you’ve picked a wise, caring, responsible individual.
May 19th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
I think a cell phone is very much needed by the nanny. It is unfair to say a nanny should NEVER use her phone on the job. When the kids are with me I give them my full attention, but I don’t see the problem of checking my texts or missing calls when they are taking a nap during the day or after I’ve put them to bed at night.
May 19th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
i always carry my phone while at work, for one thing their mother calls me to check what the kids want for dinner and i work another job. sometimes my boss or a coworker will call me, while i’m sitting, they all know i babysit and check if i’m working immediately when they call, so they know if the phone drops or i start saying random things i’m talking to the child or there is an emergency.
also my mom picks me up from work, so she’ll call if she’s running late and she understands the same as my coworkers. also when i’m sitting the kids usually spend at least an hour napping, so sometimes i’ll make phone calls while they’re sleeping if my phone was not with me that would not be possible and is often necessary to confirm other work.
it’s not as if i completely ignore the children, but answering the phone is sometimes necessary.
May 19th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
I agree with what everyone here has said. I also wanted to mention that most of the calls and e-mails I get for babysitting are from parents that are at work. So it would be a double standard. I never talk and talk on the phone, maybe 10 short minutes. If I’m babysitting and it’s a another family calling I just let them know that I am caring for someone else’s children at that time and will have to call them back. I’ve actually had parents irritated because I would not talk to them about setting up a sitting job while caring for another families children! When caring for a families children the parents often text, e-mail, or call me a few times to check in or say they are stuck in traffic. I would be lost without my phone and recently upgrading to a blackberry has made life for me and the parents much easer!
May 20th, 2009 at 9:28 am
I bring my phone with me to work everyday. Its basically an 8-6pm job and I don’t know what I’d do without my cell phone. The parents call me on it to check in if we are out on walks and can’t reach me on the house phone, or to call me and let me know that they are running late. I answer the phone if its important and if it turns out not to be I tell the person on the other line that I’m busy with the children and I’ll have to call them back. When the children are sleeping, I finish up anything that needs to get done, folding laundry, washing baby bottles, if that is all done, I check my email, voicemails, make a few phone calls etc… I don’t see a reason to cut out the use of cell phones completely from Nanny or Babysitter as long as they are using it responsibly and their should be an understanding from both parties as to the terms on the use of the cell phone or even house phone during work hours.
May 20th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
OH PLEASE! I have sat for several families where the mom and dad are both so preoccupied on the phone while I am there in the home, that if one of the children wondered outside, there is no way they would be capable of responding. I cleaned for a couple a while back and I was just there to clean, mind you, not exercise my nanny duties. These people had two small children (twins) and one 4 year old. I was in their home cleaning from 9:00 a.m. until close to 9:00 p.m., and I can promise you that dad was walking through the large home while being left with the 3 children for the day (mom was out at the gym while they have a full gym in the basement) 90 percent of that time. The phone was literally glued to his ear. The worst part was I could hear each and every conversation and all that entailed. He was making business deals, wheeling and dealing, while the twins were glued to the Sponge Bob Marathon on one of the 7 TV’s running constantly in the home. The 4 year old sadly, was wondering around looking for either parent and made her way into the kitchen, pulled open the extra large freezer and proceeded to open a carton of ice cream. After watching her lick the ice cream out of the container, I asked her if she should be eating that, she never answered. The saddest part of this story is that I had this deja-vu moment thinking to myself, I bet she will ask me to play with her, and guess what, she did. I had to let her know that I was there cleaning and I would love to, but I couldn’t. Dad was still on the phone, walking around throughout the house. I see the same things, maybe not always this extreme, going from one home to the next. Sure us nannies are paid to be there watching the children and it does look unprofessional to be chit-chatting while on the job, but I would never work for a family that did not allow me to call someone when I needed to. Most of us have plenty of sense not to ever let anything get in the way of these childrens’ safety while we are there, but for some of these parents, the same cannot be said, which is ironic.
May 20th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
No parent bashing here, as that isn’t what this is about, so here’s how I see it.
I do have my phone on me at all times, first and foremost because I have got to be able to answer as soon as any parent that I’m working for calls. I would be open to a “nanny phone” that would be only for them to call me on, as one of the refereal agencies mentioned.
I do sometimes conduct some personal calls/texts at work, mainly while the children are sleeping, after I’ve cleaned up, started laundry, that sort of thing. If a number that I don’t recognize or someone who I know can wait calls I don’t pick it up, and if I do need to pick it up (family/someone I’m sitting for that night) then I keep it brief (5 minutes or less), and will only pick it up if I’m in a safe place for the child, and still keep quite attentive to the child. If the call isn’t important, I simply explain that I’m at work and will need to call at another time. I’ve never had any parents not understand this. I honestly don’t have that many folks I talk to on the phone (I share 400 minutes a month, and 500 texts, and never go over
). Sometimes things do need to be dealt with, and, as long as the child is safe and it’s not a common/lengthy thing, I don’t think that a personal call or two should be an issue. Nannies don’t get a lot of the “privileges” that most workers get, often working long hours with no breaks in which to conduct personal business that might need addressing. That is what it is, and I completely understand the necessity, but getting rid of personal cell phones should be something reserved for someone who’s proven it necessary, in which case you might need to consider looking for a new caregiver anyways.
As AlexYoung pointed out, what’s most important is that you choose someone as your caregiver who you trust will not be the sort of person to constantly be on their phone… or otherwise neglecting your child, as such a person might do.
May 21st, 2009 at 6:15 am
I agree that there are some people who are very irresponsible, however, I’ve seen people socializing with other people in the parks while children are being unsupervised also. It’s not the phones that are the culprit it’s the caregiver. I would not work for an agency nor a family that would not allow this for many reasons. First, I recently lost my Dad. He spent 5 weeks in the hospital and the only way to get in touch with me was through my phone. I can’t even begin to tell you how much precious time I would have lost with him if I could not have been reached. If not for my cell phone I would not have been by his side when he passed. Next to my own son and granddaughter’s birth that was the most precious moment in my life. Losing him was the most devestating event in my life and the only consolation I have now is knowing we went peacefully. If it were not for my cell, I would not have been there If for no other reason I will NEVER be without my cell. As someone stated above. We do not get breaks. Even when the children nap we cannot run to the market or mall or take a walk on a nice day. The days are much longer than most usually 10 to 12 hours. ( can’t tell you how many tiimes I forgot my lunch and went without until I got home) My advice to parents who do not want cell phones, go one day without yours and see what it is like to be without it. Or there are always day care centers! We are human beings and are expected perform like robots. What are we expected to do if we are out with your child and there is an emergency and we need to get in touch with you??? I had a situation where the baby suddenly ran a high fever and started vomiting profusely, Mom was grateful that I was abe to get in touch. It’s all about being responsible and in any profession there is good and bad.
May 21st, 2009 at 6:18 am
just wanted to add that many of the text messages and calls I get on my cell is from the Mom telling me that she is running late or that the older child might have an afternoon activity and will be home late.
May 21st, 2009 at 1:20 pm
KSU Nanny, I am definitely not taking it personally that you starting off your post by stating “this is not about bashing the parents”. I was giving a prime example (and could go on and on with others) that someone is trying to make it out to be so “taboo” for a nanny to be seen with a cell phone. Do you ever see a parent without one at their son’s ballgame, mom out in the lobby at her daughters ballet recital, etc. I don’t! My point was to turn the tables on those who are probably doing the actual nanny with a cell phone, complaining. I actually use my full name as my login and have never had a problem speaking the truth of my own experiences. No matter how someone expresses their opinion, there is always, always someone else that comes along and “candy coats” what someone else has to say. It is though we are supposed to post our opinions without ever stepping on anyones toes, hogwash! All of the comments I am reading on here are just so general, the same thing time and time again, which is o.k. It is though you all are desperately trying to let these parents know that you do have a cell phone on you at all times, will continue to keep a cell phone on you at all times and go on to state that you speak to just about everyone that calls, no matter what, despite never taking your eyes off the children. THE MAJORITY OF US ARE ALL LIKE THAT! And if you weren’t, would you actually admit it? Let’s just all calm down, I know that I need to, regarding this subject and not reiterate over and over how we all depend on our cell phones. It is just that anything involving a nanny and caring for a strangers children is put under such a microscope that we are hardly allowed to breathe. Ever checked out the website, and I may be guessing at the title, “I saw your nanny?” It is quite comical. These folks are dead serious about spotting ones nanny out doing something out of character and then reporting it in play by play fashion, down to the description of the nanny, with some pictures actually posted, the location where the nanny was with the children, such as the park, library, etc. and how the nanny was not doing their job according to the strangers observation. Definitely like “Big Brother is Watching”. What a strange world.
May 21st, 2009 at 4:49 pm
Nannies should not be on their cell phones when they’re on the job! They are getting paid to give their full attention to the children! What other job is going to pay a person to yack away. We own a small business and never allow our employees to talk or text while they are clocked in. We provide our Nanny with a cell phone to call us if she needs to or for emergencies. Getting paid between $10-$15 or more per hour is a good job in this economy and nannies and sitters need to treat caregiving like a professional job: be on time, be courteous, show concern for the little ones, and DON’T DO YOUR PERSONAL BUSINESS WHILE YOU’RE GETTING PAID–it’s the same as cheating your employer or stealing!
May 22nd, 2009 at 8:18 am
Well… everything in moderation. One would have to consider that most nannies don’t have a lunch break and if on is working 8 hrs when can you make a call. It does not mean you should be on the phone all day but its impossible to think that a caregiver is not going to use the phone. Its best to have a balanced attitude about the situation and for both parties to be understanding of what the other expects. Its also best to iron out the rules before your caregiver even starts working for you. If you allow your caregiver to have a break in between child care and household duties then phone use should not be an issue. One would simply make calls on the break. If there is no break (there usually is not one) then other arrangements have to be worked out. Also situations arise where phone use or texting maybe necessary. As stated before mutual respect, and understanding of expectations from both parties would be needed in this issue and many others.
May 22nd, 2009 at 11:33 am
My mother runs a home childcare and has a few friends in town that do the same. Sometimes in the mornings when she takes the kids outside to play she will call and chat with her friends. Talking about the kids and sharing tips and ideas. She never takes her eyes off the children though and often has to interrupt the conversation to make sure the kids stay safe.
And as for cell phones, or any phone taking away from the attention for the kids, do you not have to cook meals for them sometimes? And how often are the kids in the kitchen with you while you are? Don’t you just keep an ear on them and look in every few minutes? How is that much different from keeping your eye on them while talking on the phone?
I’m not saying that it’s ok to talk all day, but maybe you’re having a particularly hard day and need some advice or need to vent to a friend for a few minutes. If the kids are engaged in an activity or a movie and you are right there I think it’s ok to spend a few minutes on the phone.
I agree that caregivers need to pay more attention to the kids, but when you go to the pla ground sometimes they find friends and go off and play with them. I would consider that like a break and the phone could be used then, as long as the caregiver remains attentive to where the children are and what they are doing.
Personally I don’t have anyone that I would call, except maybe my mom for some advice, but then it would be a call in order for me to better care for the kids. Otherwise I would be playing with the kids. And kids don’t need a parent or nanny or sitter to entertain them all the time. They do need to learn how to play together and by themselves without adult interference. So taking a few minutes to talk with someone or answer a call is no big deal, as long as it’s not in the middle of an activity you are doing with the kids and you’re abandoning them to the phone for more than a minute for a very important call.
May 23rd, 2009 at 9:02 am
I recently started working for a family full time and did not have a cell phone until they requested I get one. I rarely use it and so just got a pay as you go type of phone. Now that I have it, I can see the usefullness of it as far as being able to reach the parents when we’re out and about or the parents being able to reach me. However since it’s a pay as you go phone, which means I pay for every minute of use, I only have given the number to babysitting families and have explained it’s for emergancy use only (though I have been somewhat surprised by what consitutes an emergancy.) Also, the family I work for recently moved to a new house and does not have a land line or internet connection yet, so a cell phone is the only way to get a hold of me during the day. I think caregivers are definitely paid to watch the kids but realisitically there are going to be times when a personal call needs to be made because it can’t be done any other time. Sometimes there are calls that can only be made Monday-Friday 9-5 and if you always work those hours, and don’t get formal breaks, then you wouldn’t be able to take care of business if you didn’t make that call. I think the small business owner who posted no personal calls should ever be made is living in a fanstasyland…a land where people actually get breaks to take care of that type of thing. Nannies don’t.
May 23rd, 2009 at 5:01 pm
All things in moderation. Im sure those that are seen on the phone @ parks w kids ARE paying attn.
@alex : Agreed. It seems its ‘1 bad apple spoils the bunch’ The way the world is now in 2009 every1 has a phone. S/t calls HAVE to be made. However in selecting a caregive how is parent supposed to know that s/he will be on the phone?
@susanlamb: I agree. Parents themselves stay w the phone on the ear while they care for their kids. A QUICK call made by cargivers is fine IMO.
May 23rd, 2009 at 10:42 pm
susanlamb, I’m sorry if I offended you. Perhaps I’m fortunate that I really have had some fantastic parents to work with. I’m really not trying to sugar coat anything, just that this topic is about nannies using cells. Several of the families that I’ve worked for do have to use the phone a lot, because their business require that. I think it’s great, as they are able to conduct a lot of business from home and still have more time to spend with their children. I’m sure there are some who go overboard, but it is a little different when a parent is on the phone compared to a nanny, as the nanny is being paid to be with the children. I’m not trying to hide behind a pseudonym here or anything, but using your real name isn’t exactly the best idea online, which is why I don’t use mine for my sittercity profile, or anywhere else.
May 24th, 2009 at 10:20 pm
well i for one think its totally unfair not to want a nanny to have a phone like everyone else has been saying we have lives and some things can only be done between 8 and 5 and we dont get a break but for me the most important thing and i’m shocked no one else has said it but I have my own children to think of and I am not going to ignore my phone if it rings because what if its my own child at school sick or somethingand I ignore them because I am busy caring for someone elses kid? i dont think so and I would not want to work for someone who as a parent could not appreciate that. Now I do have special ringtones for both of my childrens phones the same tone so I know if its them but I always look at the phone because it could be their schools calling and I will always answer for them no matter what im doing. period.
May 25th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
Thanks KSUNanny for clearing that up, you did not offend me though. I just get a little confused when someone states their opinion and all of a sudden there is someone else to feel the need to “clarify” what the intended subject is. We all get off subject occasionally, but I have noticed on some of these boards that certain nannies go on and on and on how they stay in line with every aspect of watching ones children as though they think a new prospective family may just be pilfering through the boards and decide they are “THE ONE” due to something they stated in the opinion section. It can get plum silly. But I do not have a problem calling parents out, with my full name slashed across, as I have been fortunate enough to have fallen into the ideal families for both myself and for them. They know that I can be opinionated on certain subjects and they as well. They also allow me to express my thoughts on some of these topics (at the appropriate times) and we all get a good laugh out of some of them.
I just believe that our society is obsessed with our cell phones. I observe so much while driving, sitting at redlights, shopping, or just out in general. No matter where we go we always have that all-mighty cell phone in hand. I can sit at a redlight and just for the fun of it, watch as one person after another, after another, makes that turn through the intersection while yaking. I get tickled to see the elderly, such as grandmas and grandpas out dining and checking their cell phone. It is cute how carefully they have to look at the keypad and they dial ever so carefully, and you always have a sense they are calling a grandchild or their spouse. Who ever thought our grandparents would be walking around with cell phones? The craziest time I ever saw someone “using” was at a TJ Maxx. A salesgirl was bent down in the shoe section trying to look as though she was straightening the shoes, hiding out from the boss, while talking on her cell. It just looked really unprofessional in that setting. I for one am just as attached and sometimes make myself leave mine in my car when running in Publix or somewhere quick, but isn’t it ironic that is when someone always calls you, when you’ve left it for a minute?
May 28th, 2009 at 7:06 am
I honestly don’t think some people get it. As I stated in my earlier post, I use a headset just as I do when I am driving and I do not use my cell phone just to chat. If anyone thinks that people in offices do not use thier phones just to chit chat, you are sooo wrong. It happens all the time. I worked in offices as well as in a school and many times heard personal conversations going on between office staff and family and or friends!
Also, as stated earlier, I lost my Dad recently, when the call came that he had taken a turn and the family needed to come in, it was a work day and we were all either at work or on our way. If not for the cell phone, my Dad would have died alone. We were all able to connect because of the phone, because or that the whole family was there holding onto him in the end. That was one of the most precious moments in my life.
June 8th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
What if the young lady in the photo was actually speaking to the parent(s). I have been on an outing with children and phoned the parent several times because we sometimes do that on our outings. If the sitter or nanny has palced the child in danger or just not paying attention that’s different. I do not use the phone unless it is urgent and I will not answer a call unless it is the parent or an urgent call from my family member..
This is a common sense situation but often times the age of a nanny or sitter makes a big diference.
GOD SPEED!
Lizzy