How many babysitters will the average kid have in their lifetime? It’s likely more than a dozen. Life happens and it brings different people into our circles at different times, and that often includes caregivers.
If you ask most parents, almost all will say they’re interested in hearing about a new, good sitter. That’s because in the back of our mind we know it’s an impermanent role. (Note: permanence doesn’t equal importance.) Schedules change, locations change, priorities change. It’s always smart to have a strong list of sitters you can call.
That said, our little ones do crave stability. It’s important to take time and to properly introduce any new person into their life, even if it’s just for a single night out.
Get to Know the Babysitter
The best way to help break the ice between your little ones and the new sitter? Break the ice between the two of you beforehand. Schedule interviews over the phone or in-person. Don’t rush these. Sure, it’s time for you to make sure they’re qualified, but it’s also time to build a little rapport with the person who will be taking care of your child. Building your own relationship with the sitter will make it easier for you to introduce them to potentially nervous little ones.
Talk About the New Sitter During Dinner
Adults like to have information on any new people we’re about to spend time with, so why would kids be any different? Before the scheduled sitting, talk about the sitter with your child. Not just their name and age. Describe what their personality is like, what they like to do, where they live, and any other details your child might find interesting. Then spend some time talking about things they might like to do together.
Build-in Time For Walk-Throughs
On the day of the sitting, be sure to build-in time to walk-through the routines and any extra details that’ll be helpful (where the games are, which kid-friendly snacks they might want, where the art supplies live, etc.). Don’t ask a new babysitter to arrive the moment you need to be rushing out the door. That too-close-for-comfort timing stress affects everyone involved. For first-time visits, plan to spend up to 30 minutes getting everyone introduced. You can even get the kids involved. Sometimes, a task (such as showing the sitter where the games are) will help your child connect with a new caregiver.
Prepare for a Few Big Feelings
Even children who are excited about meeting a new sitter might feel nervous when it’s time for parents to leave. There could be some clinginess, hesitation, tons of questions, and, yes, tears. These responses are normal and don’t necessarily mean your child isn’t ready. A calm, confident goodbye often works better than a long or emotional departure. Which leads us to…
Keep Goodbyes Short and Sweet
Once the new sitter is settled into the house, don’t prolong the goodbyes. At this point, you’ve laid the groundwork to ensure you and the sitter are comfortable and set to move on. Nothing throws a wrench in that work like long, belabored goodbyes. If it’s the first time you’re leaving a little one with a new sitter, this might be the hardest part, but it’s important to keep it brief. A quick, confident goodbye sends signals that everything is, and will be okay.
Have Things They Love On Hand
Setting things and activities your kids love out will help make the goodbyes quick. For babies, that might be lovies and pacifiers. For toddlers and older kids, it’s the activities they love, but don’t always get the chance to do. Think about some of the things that need supervision (such as science experiments, play dough, games, etc.).
When a sitter is new, it’s always smart to take some extra steps to help them build a bond with your kids and guide them toward things they’ll like to do together. A good sitter will start to learn and plan fun activities on their own, but that takes time and knowing who they are planning for.
Overall, transitioning to a new sitter smoothly just takes a little planning and forward-thinking. It starts with opening up the lines of communication and talking to multiple sitters to find the one that fits your family best.
